My ears hiss and hum,
they fizz and they freak,
like a song with no melody
week after week
You hear sound,
and I hear distortion.
This ever present noise,
is driving me to exhaustion
I may never hear quiet,
or stillness again.
I wonder how long,
till it drives me insane
A chord played by a corpse.
a factory, a machine,
an electrical substation,
with a piano wedged between
A never-ending, mind-bending,
It’s like 16 simultaneous flatliners
that won’t leave me alone
An orchestra of electrical tools,
a theme tune stuck on the e-cord.
Dear God, I’ve had enough and I’m tired,
please change the record!!
Distract me, but loudly.
Give me a release,
from this burglary of sound
I want back my peace.
But don’t take away all sound,
my connection to living.
Just ease up on the endless howling,
the entourage of sounds so unforgiving.
People say ahhh when I tell them
and they frown and tilt their head.
This just makes me want to batter them
or let them hear my sound instead!
Friend, please remember my challenges,
even when I am peaceful or beaming.
The volume is right down low on my world,
and the noise is still screaming.
Have courage to speak louder.
Direct your words to my face.
This is an act of love.
It is a kindness and a grace.
Those times when you forget,
when you whisper or you mumble
I try as I might but I can’t reach
you through this piercing grumble.
Try not to lose patience,
With me and my faulty ears.
These are tough challenges I live with
These are my troubles and my tears
I love and I laugh still.
I strive to overcome and forget it.
Your remembering, and your sensitivity.
Really helps me not sweat it.
by Candice L. April 2018
Artwork by Dean Goldsmith
June 6, 2018 @ 11:18 pm
This is marvelous! It captures the on-going essence of your affliction! i too suffere from Tinnitus and years ago wrote a poem about it!I love the way the poem turns to address the listener. It’s very powerful.
June 8, 2018 @ 10:16 am
Jean we’d love to see your poem to!!
June 8, 2018 @ 11:38 am
Thank you for this!
Alan M Steele (@HertsMassage)
June 8, 2018 @ 3:08 pm
Dearest Candice, as always, you present so well and your heartfelt poem makes my words in response seem so inadequate of course, but it’s so important to convey what you are experiencing so that people will treat you and others with the extra care, respect and patience needed under such trying and testing conditions. The fact that your grace, dignity, knowledge and humour shine through regardless is a testament to the wonder of you. I may be a little bit bias here but I am nevertheless most sincere in my thoughts. xx
June 8, 2018 @ 4:07 pm
You are so kind and so sweet Alan. I so appreciate all your support xx
August 13, 2019 @ 5:28 pm
Candace, I have just stumbled onto your blog. I read with fasciation the words of someone who is going through exactly the same bodily challenges as I am! And also, your philosophical/spiritual perspective! I, too, have had to let go of so much of myself. But, at the same time, I am discovering what it is that really feeds my soul. That which has fallen away (from physical handicap, and the basic “side effects” of aging) I can now see as distraction from what is really related to the reason I am here.
I will enjoy following your writings!