Week 3 – Dizzy gets ditched

The second bout of Labs was so horrible I didn’t care as much about being medicine-free and I pretty much begged for the anti-dizzy pills. Only I couldn’t hold them down this time. I was desperate for help but since my GP had told me there was nothing anyone could do, I didn’t think there would be any point going to A&E.. The truth is, that if I had gone, they most likely would have treated my hearing loss and saved my hearing. They may have taken my condition seriously and got me seen by a specialist sooner. So many what if’s.

So I stayed put, in bed (or face-down in the carpet), surviving the hellish, disabling stage of Labyrinthitus until around 4 days later when I was eventually, able to lift my head and sit upright once again.My hearing was pretty bad in both ears and the volume had to be really high for me to hear anything.

By that time it had been 16 days of me being ill and my boyfriend had pretty much lost patience and compassion for my situation. He obviously needed space and walked out in a terrible mood… and I never saw him again.

Apparently I’m too emotional.

I tend to think that losing ones hearing, first in one ear and then the other, whilst being spun like a centrifugal human and not being able to move or leave the house for 3 weeks, no showers, no freedom not much company….might lead someone to shed a few tears and feel a little overwhelmed. But in general I think I handled it pretty damn well, keeping some humor and positive spirit. It’s times like these when you find out who’s really solid in your life; who you can rely on and where the real love lies. Love isn’t just the good times, it’s standing strong and showing up through the difficult, treacherous, messy, difficult times as well.

Nevertheless it still hurts like hell to find out that the one you love can’t withstand crises and will bail on you when you need them most. Though the truth is I didn’t know it at this stage. I thought he was going to take some space and then come back to me….or email, write, call or something. .

Times like this when you feel like you’ve been well and truly f***** from all directions; when you’ve been turned inside out, upside down and then shaken a bit for double effect, there isn’t much else you can do but gather up those tattered pieces of your heart in your now humbled hands and surrender.